never sleep fear forever suffering all terror desolation kill again into aching fear descend infection of all agony with twice removed depravity scraping words shutdown terror suicide again eyes crawl into your thoughts useless pain sharp membrane rips alive but not conscious disconnect cracking conception's edge diverge from grace missing time mirror close binding to decay darker now all codes are lost closed forever a locked door pretends just mistrust of dementia in the end cities gift of desolation laughing guilty killing thoughts rending dreamers antiquated phrases safe time all in safe time safe time all in safe time muttered thoughts a suicide pose twisting into shame select a fear and mutilate nothing stays the same shatter cutting nothing slowly running out of pain nightmare shadows disintegrate draining life away pain shrouded hidden inside misery fictions die rotting in captivity everything a question to a baser nature failsafe derision empty answers there are slower ways to tear apart reality pushing away for the last time pushing away for the last time for dying lost we mirror amnesia with heroin sickness diseased vermin happiness failing words poison scattering flames twisted little process substance death down masterfully frightened and mostly thrashing shroud rearview sounds and target state reasoned words disconnect the killing machine reasoned words disconnect the killing machine muttered thoughts a suicide pose twisting into shame select a fear and mutilate nothing stays the same shatter cutting nothing slowly running out of pain nightmare shadows disintegrate draining life away disconnect

"there is no greater love than dying" your whispers decay in my dreams another prophecy just written on water it was the end of all that we were i try to feel nothing at all in the end i try to let go just a little bit more i try to reach back and collapse all the memories but i just keep on clinging to something that died what happens now praying for yesterday's promises holding it together just a little while longer i turn my eyes to you and smile the same slow smile it was the end of all that we were what happens when i lose my faith in you what happens when it all turns cold what happens when the darkness rushes in again and i just keep on clinging to something that died what happens now

stumbling down that unused trail i happened upon a plain and there i saw you that first time blushing with my shame then countless hours of holding hands under stars that seemed to cross we walked along that trail together and then we both got lost two roads diverged in a wood and i i took the one you did not travel by marching down the primrose path i searched for you in vain i'd hoped to find you waiting there prepared to take my pain but endless years of searching have turned me old and tired and grey there's nothing i can do anymore there's nothing i can say two roads diverged in a wood and i i took the one you did not travel by and this has made the difference in our lives limping down that cracked dead earth i searched for you in vain i'd hoped to find you someday somewhere so that i might return this pain but endless worlds of searching have yielded nothing but regret and the thing that burns inside the most is that i haven't found you yet two roads diverged in a wood and i i took the one you did not travel by and this has made the difference in our lives two roads diverged in a wood and you you couldn't see far enough ahead to follow through you couldn't see my words were true you couldn't see there was only you

an edit a sequence of time and then we stumble into the dark again "and this is forever" everything ended in collapse just waiting for the next attack "and this is forever" hating all that never changes fearing all that never bled trying to be something more than nothing and something less than dead moving through the doorway moving through the doorway (lost) (cold) (alone) tomorrow she would count the dead tomorrow she would count the dead and pray rewind roll the film now it's killing time again let's watch another story grim as elsewhere it all begins moving through the doorway moving through the doorway (and i always hated this) it was then that i saw her face a memory that time could not erase twin pools of emptiness devoid of pain and all i could do was turn away tomorrow she would count the dead tomorrow she would count the dead and pray

i turn my eyes away from you and i feel like i'm three days dead sitting in the same cold room the memory of mockery bursting bright new blood i watch you... tomorrow's scars upon my hands i remember nothing drifting pain away inside stop cold heart pounding jump uselessly and swing in time i can't love you anymore... the words they boil right out of me in that same cold lifeless misery i watch you walk away i see you change i know you fade i watch you die and the memory fades... i try to reason nothing i feel so grey and dead forever was a long time ago twisting shapes that fail to fold the faceless image in my head i can't love you any more... and all your lies still sound the same i guess i knew you'd never change and all the while life babbles on in the same old tired flat endless song i watch you die and the memory fades... there's blood so much blood on my hands and in this room i can't distinguish face from wrists or eyes i watch you draw your last breath staring into nothing i can't love you any more... and all the words boil out of me in that same cold lifeless misery i watch you walk away i see you change i know you fade i watch you die and the memory fades...

i had a dream within it a child playing on a pier and then i saw behind him an old man praying in fear the child was pushed he could not swim he slowly sank beneath the waves the old man cried the child had died so that the village might be saved and then the man walked back into the village he met a woman who asked him where her son was the man was mute he could not speak he slowly turned and pointed at the sea the woman fell and when she fell she became an angel with white wings i saw the angel i saw the angel lying face down i saw the angel i saw the angel lying face down the man walked on past the town and out into the fields it was harvest time the bitter crops gave up their meager yield the crops were poor the town was thin they could not live without the grain the sacrifice of such a tiny life to make the angel end their pain but i saw the angel i saw the angel lying face down i saw the angel i saw the angel lying face down the years went by the old man constantly praying for rain he killed and killed but still the barren fields remained he lost all hope took his own life the last one left to sacrifice the rains fell down upon the town and the angel smiled a smile like ice i saw the angel i saw the angel lying face down i saw the angel i saw the angel lying face down

there she goes my little miss sunshine in her black clothes and attitude daddy's little girl all dressed up in black lace under all that white makeup i doubt he'd even recognize her face but she's got your number... there she goes little miss sunshine out on that floor she moves just like an angel reach out to touch her and you stumble you tried to speak to her but your words just crumbled but she's got your number... there she goes little miss sunshine at the bar you bait her all evening maybe buy her one or two drinks she may look sweet but she's not really what you think but she's got your number... there she goes little miss sunshine perfect example of what you'll never have but if you're lucky and things go well she'll take you into heaven before sending you straight to hell but she's got your number... there she goes little miss sunshine cold as stone her tongue drips with poison of any feeling there's really no trace but under all that white makeup lies a little girl's face

keeping you in here unseen by your eyes burn away the part that won't work burn away all hopes and dreams light aflame all final life then die darkness tunnel unseen light the one that blocks your passage through stench of burnt flesh keeps awake the hatred deep inside of you the one you loved you now shall kill with hatred's final stare teeth and nails will live on still but no one really cares burn away the part that won't work burn away all hopes and dreams light aflame all final life unseen

something's not quite right can't seem to put my finger on it where did it all go wrong but it seems nothing i can do will fix it just staring at the walls and a bouquet of one dozen barbed wire roses how did it all fall apart when everything seemed so perfect was it there all along or was it something completely random i just don't understand how i failed you but sitting on the table there's a vase filled with the broken stems of one dozen barbed wire roses what did i ever do to you to deserve this treatment was is something that i said or did or didn't do every time i reach out to touch you you push me away then five minutes later you're back again but holding you in my arms is like being stabbed by the thorns of one dozen barbed wire roses one dozen barbed wire roses all for you one dozen apologies for all the hell you've put me through one dozen excuses for the things i've done one dozen i love you's and every one a lie i cannot take this anymore i won't even bother to try these one dozen barbed wire roses are just my way of saying goodbye one dozen little metal petals slice into my flesh

"it was you!"