nothing inside. fall.
RELEASED 06 AUG 2002 ~ 78.00
|01||trailblazer (excerpt)||0.36||MP3 (568k)|
|☉||02||used to be cool||5.19||MP3 (4984k)|
|03||principa mathmatica||5.36||MP3 (952k)|
|05||burn this||3.58||MP3 (948k)|
|07||i only love you when it rains||4.14||MP3 (948k)|
|08||heaven (prelude)||2.20||MP3 (528k)|
|11||this quiet hour||5.16||MP3 (948k)|
|☉||13||the secret language of relationships||5.58||MP3 (5560k)|
|16||tom & jerry||8.03||MP3 (948k)|
We started out at the end of 2000 (after completing work on our fourth LP release DECAY) with about 60 tracks in rough demo format for the next release. Over the last two years, we added maybe 20 tracks to that list. Through various "cut parties" we narrowed the tracks we would work on down throughout the year, and we went into the studio on December 15th 2001 with about 26 candidate tracks for the album. The next seven months were spent refining and recording. The result -- these 16 tracks.
my holy cross the love i lost the things i passed and soon forgot rewind the film to begin again with all the things i bought a thorny crown my bringing down the disrespectful sneer and frown suffering yet shimmering with all the things i found well i used to be cool but i'm just not sure that things could be as good as they said they were i used to have some hope but now it's all gone as the products placed all in my face still linger on yeah i used to be cool now i'm just not sure but i think things were better back the way they were and i used to be smart now i'm just a fool because i wasted my whole life just trying to be cool a suit to bring a golden ring watch the children laugh and sing spend the money quickly honey the dinosaur is king wearing names to play the game and always winding up the same wrapped in words i become absurd not knowing who to blame well i used to be cool but i'm just not sure that things could be as good as they said they were i used to have some hope but now it's all gone as the products placed all in my face still linger on yeah i used to be cool now i'm just not sure but i think things were better back the way they were and i used to be smart now i'm just a fool because i wasted my whole life just trying to be cool your golden tooth a ten year roof pictures taken in a booth take away the old today who cares about the truth the taking hold the pulling in the war against which we defend it doesn't matter drip in batter the salesman is your friend well i used to be cool but i'm just not sure that things could be as good as they said they were i used to have some hope but now it's all gone as the products placed all in my face still linger on yeah i used to be cool now i'm just not sure but i think things were better back the way they were and i used to be smart now i'm just a fool because i wasted my whole life just trying to be cool
i'd crawl ten thousand miles of broken glass to be with you i'd drown myself inside your eyes two pearls all colored blue i would do absolutely anything that you would have me do but it doesn't seem to add up quite the way i'd like it to i thought i'd put it past me while our love was still new i thought that maybe you might change and together we'd pull through but now i know that i'm at fault at least as much as you i ignored your words an empty set and didn't realize what i'd lose i'd drag myself across a thousand rusty nails for you i'd sink ten thousand fathoms in the deepest ocean blue yet i know i'll never really get any respect from you it just doesn't seem to add up quite the way i'd like it to i thought someday we'd get past this and turn it all brand new i thought that we could solve it all and work our problems through but i can't do it all by myself and i can't do it for you and now that love's subtracted out there's nothing left to lose across this great divide we turn away in shame my distance multiplies in proportion to your pain but when i factor it all out i'm not sure of who's to blame the only thing i'm certain of is that we'll never be the same
you sucker punched me from behind you turned my smiles all saturnine you ruined more than you can know you stabbed me in the back i turned your shame back on myself i took the pain as you took my health sinking in the lies you chose to tell i almost lost it all but i found a way to suffer through i found a way to get back at you i found a way to take you down i will fight you i'll wait until the time is right i'll slip up on you in the night i'll do what you would not expect i will destroy you i watched you walk away from me i watched you laugh at my defeat i watched you watch me sinking down i watched you killing me i watched you walk away from me i watched you laugh at my defeat i watched you watch me sinking down i watched you killing me i watched you walk away from me i watched you laugh at my defeat i watched you watch me sinking down i watched you killing me i'll take your pain and your disgrace i'll wipe that smile right off your face i'll track you down and make you pay i'll watch you fall i'll watch you fall
i'm sorry if i left you guessing about how things would be and i'm sorry that i took back all the things you took from me and i'm sorry that we talked so long with nothing left to say but only then could i write "i regret i ever knew you" dissatisfied with leaving you couldn't leave well enough alone which just left your insecurity to follow us both home your coming back a vague attempt to regain what we both lost but you really didn't care to fix the problem you see it's just your pattern variations on a plan i'm not the first to get it since it all began but i see it all so clearly now that things have changed as i discard my suffering in one last letter so i want you to burn this i want you to leave it all in ashes i want you to burn this because there really are no second chances circumstance was just another player in our game now i know the how you feel but the why is still the same i guess a question left unanswered is somewhat better than a lie but only by artificial standards and i want you to burn this i want you to leave it all in ashes i want you to burn this because there really are no second chances i regret the pain that we both had to go through i wish we could have had something beautiful and true but most of all i regret wasting all my time always wanting ever wanting all the wanting that was mine it's cliched but it really is so strange the way things turn as entropy overtakes us with nothing better learned we see the world from different sides and still wind up the same there's nothing left and nothing more and nothing will ever change so i want you to burn this i want you to leave it all in ashes i want you to burn this because there really are no second chances
i'm waiting for the sun to rise up in the sky i'm waiting for a better chance at a better life i've weathered all the slings and arrows that misfortune tried easy with my heroes close beside i'm watching the sun go down in the sky i'm watching another end to another life there's nothing i can do to keep them both alive and i'm still asking why now my heroes are all gone they left me sitting here i watched them all move on i watched them disappear and now i'm all alone i'm waiting for the stars to fall out of the sky i'm waiting for a bitter end to a bitter life everything that mattered once to me has all been left behind but those heroes are still locked in my mind they've taken all my faith and left nothing in it's place how can i go on? each day that goes by is like a knife in my side how can i go on?
i only love you when it rains i just laugh to hide my pain i only call you when i'm down i only love you when it pours i just come around when i want more i only call you when i'm down i only love you when it rains i just smile to hide my shame when i ask you for some joy i only love you when it pours and my need makes us both whores when i ask you for some joy i only love you when it rains but i never let you feel the same because i will soon be gone again i only love you when it pours then i open up all those old sores because i will soon be gone again i can't raise my eyes to meet your face otherwise you'd just put me in your place i can't hold out my arms just my hand i know you will never understand i only love you when it rains i just laugh to hide my pain i only call you when i'm down i only love you when it pours i just come around when i want more i only call you when i'm down i only call you when i'm down
i never found my place in your rank and file your anger was just sympathy misplaced into something vile another cause another fight another wrong for you to right it's just something else to die for tell me in your castle are you safe are you clean in that sparkling ivory tower that you built to hide beneath can you still look into the mirror and find what you'd expect sometimes even christ wept - is it your turn next excuses always get made in the absence of the facts the mighty sword you wield in turn just wields you back controlled by something that you were sure you could control soulless empty anger in search of an angry empty soul if what i choose is wrong then i guess it's wrong i'll stay forgive me if I can't see for the light you put in place i'm drowning in your eyes in your blood in our words and in our time and with your hands you lift me up to heaven
so we're sitting at a restaurant or in a shop somewhere and you complain about the service pout and whine and tug your hair i can't help but think that while you're acting out your rage there are thousands overseas who will die today from aids i'm sorry that you had to wait an hour to get your food and i'm sorrier still that you had to make a point of being rude but maybe you should think of things in a somewhat different light because there are millions round the world who will have no food tonight so you're angry just because you didn't get a better grade "my teacher doesn't like me" the excuse so commonly displayed i'm not saying that you don't have a case to plead i'm just saying there are millions more who would give their lives to read the things we take for granted could fill a library of works the simple fact you've food to eat and hospitals to tend your hurts instead of worrying about what designer you haven't got think about all that you do have and what the next person has not because in the end even the strongest towers still may fall you can work an entire lifetime with nothing to show for it at all so it's ok to be afraid and it's ok not to share but it's not ok to be someone who just doesn't care i'm sorry that you're thoughtless and i'm sorry you're unkind i'm sorry that you're worthless at seeing what's around you i'm sorry that you're painfully and obviously cruel i'm sorry that we came here (i'm sorry that i know you)
i'll always love you just the same as i ever did i'll always love you just the same when this quiet hour strikes upon the clock i lay awake and think of you and helplessly drift away i'll always love you just the same as i ever did i'll always love you just the same i dream of patterns swirling colors lost to form your eyes swallowed up so fast i had to stay i'll always love you just the same as i ever did i'll always love you just the same i dream of photographs of summer filled with laughing children playing and see my blood drip down on them like rain i'll always love you in this quiet hour i'll always love you just the same as i ever did i'll always love you just the same my dreams they turn to nightmares shadow monsters in my stomach i look for you to make them go away but you're not there i trusted you completely and thoroughly got lost in you wanted to believe that you would always be true to me in this quiet hour but looking for your eyes and heart i found your lies instead searching for your love and strength i wound up in your bed and then i heard the words you spoke the words that froze me dead "this is all you ever were to me" i'll always love you in this quiet hour i'll always love you just the same as i ever did i'll always love you just the same and i know that when i wake up cold and screaming like the dead i'll have dreamt about the dreams i lost again
this is just our anger at the dumbing down of pop speaking shrieks and sounds so weak they climb right to the top we never would have done this if we thought that they would stop buying in to this disease to reap that bitter crop we started out all innocent when this all began but we quickly found the nightmare out and picked up on the plan forcing through their grim facade to find out where we stand last to first and first to last grabbed up by grabbing hands older now and wiser we are certain of their game or at least enough so that we know just who we can all blame they're sacrificing talent to achieve a fleeting fame we have our independence and we won't wind up the same as corporations fight for the rights to sell our souls and the sharks become now minnows swim into that bought control and all the while the popular complaint to fill their holes we set our sights to right the ship and sail towards our goals the horizon disappears and the air is getting thin we struggle blindly for our cause although we may not win they take another chapter out only to start again from the book another look at those who you called friends the air is getting thin the horizon disappears as you buy into the lies that they've force fed you all these years you raise your voice in anguish but no one really hears a corporate hell that sold so well it covered up their ears
we speak in whispers hard to hear we pull away from pulling near and with every step we get closer still to breaking we speak in riddles then in blows and darker still these things can go and with every wound we get closer still to nothing i made myself this tape of lies and pushed it through your haunted eyes and came out on the other side the same in the secret language of relationships we rewind just to hear the record skip and "friend" is just another word for pain you take it all away from me too fast too far too much to bleed for once the words you said to me were true your betrayal down and so it goes just another lesson proof to show there's a million ways to get from here to blue i made myself deny it all the lies you told the way I'd crawl but the way it turned out i guess it was just as well in the secret language of relationships we push too far and then we slip and "home" is just another word for hell now i know what the shadows knew i'm past the pain and pulling through there's just one more game left for me to play the feel of your scars underneath my hands i have become your shadowman and in the end you're better off this way i made myself this tape of lies and pushed it through your dead grey eyes and came out on the other side the same in the secret language of relationships we rewind just to hear the record skip and "love" is just another word for pain
i watch it all fade out and in the end i see i watch it all go down and in the end there's nothing i'm not sure where your love got lost but the last time that i checked it seemed more of an afterthought or was that your respect? we're both so much different now than when we were still young now there's nothing left to hold on to our ending has begun i watch it all fade out and now i know the same strange pain i watch it all fade out and in the end there's nothing not so green now the path we chose it's dying faster by the day we left too much to providence we gave too much away i wish we had built a stronger love red bricks this storm might miss but we tore that building down ourselves what love could weather this? i watch it all fade out and in the end i know i watch it all fade out and in the end there's only this: it's not just a case of black and white like all those times we fought our love was in some disrepair but it's our colors you forgot each time you've given up and every time i failed all our washed up colors washed out and turned into greyscale