discolored thoughts disconnect my eyes turn away from the final stain so strange and hard to forget this always feeling pain remember past once lost forgotten echoing an empty room inside myself nothing answered pain returns again too soon attacking sharp and never steal the wanting for this peace and never wake or kill to fear the shocking value of our sleep nothing turn away from me and everything is lost nothing now fall to my knees and everything is lost nothing left to take from me and everything is lost nothing ever mattered then and everything is lost forever

this crown of thorns an albatross and another dream in which i might have slept this hanging meat an abattoir and a thousand wounds i haven't suffered yet hold me mother i can't sleep and in the dark i left you standing there help me father i'm sinking deep and in the dark i left you standing there all your hooks now come undone the stitches pulling loose inside my breast a clutching hand to kill the pain and a thousand hours to keep me from my rest hold me mother i can't sleep and in the dark i left you standing there help me father i'm sinking deep and in the dark i left you standing there keep me quiet black dripping deep i'm sorry if i never got it right this final scene the curse of time and a thousand worlds in which you'll die tonight hold me mother i can't sleep and in the dark i left you standing there help me father i'm sinking deep and in the dark i left you standing there while everything i had just slips away no chance remains to be found in prayer now i wait alone silent watching us decay waiting for you to end this oh mercy

sever sister brother separating siblings from each other disintegrating weaker sicken ties that bind us still a darker twilight drifting closer and everything is dying everything is dead everything is dying everything is dead love is not the answer sicker martyr in the killing field slipping end in water drowning slowly expect nothing except agony and a darker twilight drifting closer everything is dying everything is dead everything is dying everything is dead love is not the answer

the streetlights dim your face caves in and i walk away alone again i try to find some peace of mind in what little life you left behind too tired inside for another try i throw my hands up to the sky and touch what you broke my life into sharp cutting fragments colored blue fragmentary blue the one you knew the one you could always turn to in times of doubt you searched her out and then she knew just what to do you took her hand poor fragile man and then she turned her back on you she saw your face and had to erase everything into fragmentary blue the memory dims my eyes turn in but i only see how blind i've been and in being blind i've had the time to see what you've done to my mind i can't describe or justify so i turn my eyes up to the sky and see what you turned my life into nothing left but deepest blue i never said i'd ever change you never said you'd stay the same and watching you through all this pain it's pretty clear no hope remains but older now and slowing down you turn my faith all back around and then you start to break apart all this blue that's in my heart fragmentary blue the one you knew the one you could always turn to in times of doubt you searched her out and then she knew just what to do you took her hand poor fragile man and then she turned her back on you she saw your face and had to erase everything into fragmentary blue

dark fear killing fear swallow pain fear disease hammer hammer hammer hammer hammer hammer hammer killing do you like it in the dark can you eliminate the fear it's just a mercy killing swallowing the pain of this disease pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer killing do you like it in the dark can you eliminate the fear it's just a mercy killing swallowing the pain of this disease if you sleep you will not wake up you will not wake up if you sleep if you sleep then i will kill you i will kill you in your sleep pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer pick up the hammer killing i will make my final nightmare yours

open cold the knife bites deep cutting out while they all sleep everything so tied up in the skin matters holy sorely tried found lacking turned to homicide the killing game begins once again 'faith follows antiquity' 'and satisfies our bitter need' 'to know at last how all of it will end' 'tomorrow you will count the dead' 'and wonder why you chose instead' 'to live a life that lies will never mend' and now it seems you've given me this postmortem reality that grips with fear through pacifying lies and now it seems you've shown to me all the things i'll never be faith dissolving through your stained glass eyes resolute decisions made the digging out of children's graves 'to join them would be utter peace for you' the close of earth soon quick beside the bursting out of hidden lies 'you see i really killed them all for you' 'we're all just pawns within a game' 'coddled frightened dogs and tamed' 'actors on a stage following a cue' 'and we're all just meat in the end' 'no new life for you to begin' if only i had your faith to make that true and now it seems you've given me this postmortem reality that grips with fear through pacifying lies and now it seems you've shown to me all the things i'll never be faith dissolving through your stained glass eyes

you are the only one that i will ever know you are the only one that i will ever love 'i think we'll always be together' i used to just pretend and now i know everything is gone and i know that i will never be any older than this and all the loving that i've lost just fills my eyes with pain and i feel the need to squeeze the life out of something soft like you i know that i will never love again your blood on a yellow floor this was the way we died a half remembered smile slapped from the face of a trusting child sometimes it seems like i'm still dreaming then i realize you're gone or maybe it's more like you never were at all i guess we've found out just what happens when all my dreams have died when everything i feel is just something else you would deny did hatred wear the mask or was it you (was it something that i said) 'all the emotion of a yellow floor' (a line from some book you read) i guess it all made sense somehow (justified inside your head) and now it seems i'm cast adrift (i was so easily led) your blood on a yellow floor this was the way we died a half remembered smile slapped from the face of a trusting child

romeo and juliet i can't remember quite how it all went but i think it goes something a lot like this montagues and capulets two sides divide without respect and in the end there's nothing left except some bitterness star crossed lovers so to speak a balcony from which she would retreat this girl about which the whole world revolved feuding parents in the way a love to never see the light of day and then you know i think some poison was involved in a sepia sepulcher we close our eyes one of us lives while the other one dies one of us wakes up only to find that the other one is forever gone in the second act it seems to me a midsummer night spent tossing fitfully as the gods played in our fields of green 'the winter of our discontent' but maybe that's not exactly what she meant or was it all just some kind of dream just a tempest on the rising tide that killed the two of us so deep inside i will always think upon that fatal kiss which ripped the girl away from me and destroyed my life so thoroughly i just can't keep going on like this in a sepia sepulcher we close our eyes one of us lives while the other one dies one of us wakes up only to find that the other one is forever gone the final act it now begins you never could just let all of this end keeping king and kingdom in captivity a romance now so filled with hate my grievance uttered much too late turning all we loved into this tragedy 'to be or not to be' or just to question endlessly and never knowing anything except this misery here burns my candle out fluttering in shades of doubt and all this bitterness just drops me to my knees in a sepia sepulcher we close our eyes one of us lives while the other one dies one of us wakes up only to find that the other one is forever gone and if this is heaven then i want to go home i don't want to stay here all on my own and if this is living then i wish that i were dead i'd rather be with you instead 'i'll follow thee, and make a heaven of hell' 'to die upon the hand i love so well' 'for in that sleep of death what dreams may come' 'when we have shuffled off this mortal coil'

with the help of your good hands shrouded by the night beneath the stars all my love i gave sitting on the church steps talking of our lives the sound of bells leading me on your smile upon this barren soil could cause it all to bloom my heart could move its heavy stones all for the love of you with the help of your good hands shrouded by the night beneath the stars all my love i gave leaning on a parked car kissing in the dark the sound of bells leading me on your words upon these deafened ears could make it all ring true my heart could move its heavy stones all for the love of you and maybe somehow this all means that someday somehow all of our dreams will come true and until that blessed day i want to spend all the days between with you oh girl with the help of your good hands shrouded by the night beneath the stars all my love i gave dreaming at the columns whisper 'i love you' the sound of bells leading me on your touch upon this battered soul could resurrect a faith anew my heart could move its heavy stones all for the love of you all for the love of you

i wasn't there on the day the whales came up out of the sea and swam right on into your house while you watched tv father mother sister brother they slaughtered every one of you leaving nothing behind in their wake of destruction but a great big harpoon i wasn't there on the day the seagulls flew into your house and sat right down upon your chest and ripped both your eyes out leaving you just a bloody carcass filled with gaping sores and nothing to mark their passing but an oil slick on the floor i was there on the day the trees pulled up their roots and walked over to your cooling corpse i watched all of them stalk i watched them as they brought an end to this elaborate drawn out demise and as they walked away i watched your body catching fire the sweetest revenge is the one that's paid back in kind the one that leaves the evidence for everyone else to find the one that always ends in death a final reprimand acting as a grim reminder to those who rape the land that every day more is lost...

i had this dream and in it we were driving down a road and this road had lots of little white crosses all along the embankments and down the center median you know the sort you see when a loved one or pet gets run over and killed and the survivors feel as if they have to make an effort to do something to somehow mark the spot where something died anyway, i was looking at all those little white markers like tiny subterranean churches and i started wondering if they marked the exact spot where the body lay or if it was only an approximation and if so if the margin of error for placing the marker was greater for say dogs instead of children and then you turned to me and your eyes were empty and you whispered 'dead crosses'