Sit Down, Relax Soon it will be over, you can finish your coffee yeah Sit Down, Releax Just Smile and Nod and soon it will be done yeah This will Only Take another minute or so of your time This will Only Take another minute or so of your time Sometimes I wait and watch the clock when it ticks the seconds by Sometimes I like to wait for the water to boil But, You know what they say A watch time never saves boiling nines

I once had a hole in my hoodie But somebody fixed it up for me Before I even owned the thing But then something strange happened When I was walking back from five points Yeah I went into my pocket with my hand I went into my pocket with my hand I went into my pocket And guess what my hand found It was the patch that held the hole in my hoodie In place So I pulled the patch out in a fit of paranoia So I pulled the patch out of my pocket in a fit of paranoia Now my pocket has a hole inside my hoodie when I wear it Now my pocket has a hole inside my hoodie when I wear it

How the hell Do I fix my damn window? I found a book that tells me how to fix windows But I can't make sense of it It's like it was written in greek or something I can't figure out how to fix my window That somebody broke a year or so ago Maybe two now I can't tell by my house It smells like cat pee right now And the cat pee Is leakin' Out my window Cat pee Leakin' out my window Cat pee Leakin' out my window Yes I noticed how "leak" and pee go "together"

So Once Upon a Time Maybe 20 something years ago There was a Magical Giraffe That was loved By all the children of the world One little the boy Loved the magical Giraffe So very much That piece by piece He ate him Until there was nothing left At all

Fecal Lake will Getcha baby Fecal Lake will Getcha baby Fecal Lake will Getcha baby Fecal Lake will Getcha baby Fecal Lake will Getcha baby Cesspool in my backyard In My backyard In My backyard In My backyard There's a lake of dooky Fecal lake will Gethcha, Oh Fecal Lake When You flush it And it pops back out the other side It's a game with the poo Oh yeah In My backyard In My backyard In The backyard There's a lake of dooky In My backyard In My backyard In My backyard There's a lake of dooky When I flush/ Then you gotta go to the bathroom again Then it goes/ When you pull out the back seat When you pool out there's feces again In My backyard In My backyard In My backyard There's a lake of Feces In My backyard In My backyard In My backyard There's a lake of Feces, Oh yeah. Fecal Lake of feces (etc)

This song is dedicated to my roomate Who is trying to sleep in the room next to me While I am singing Probably too loud for his taste Unless He is wearing his earplugs He is wearing his earplugs Because he lives next to a band Because he lives next to a band Because he lives next to a band That practices twice a week

You slept half the day Sleep your life away I got up and watched a DVD Someone called but they hung up Spilled my Coffee, Broke the cup I guess you could say that the joke's on me Last night became today before I could even say how Today will be tomorrow and tomorrow howdy wow I like to think of yesterday and stuffed that happened now So I'll list a few and shut the hell up Seems like all we do is sleep Eat and drink and act like sheep I guess that's why they call it Karakul My dad sent me a card of an iguana in hat My mom sent me another gravity defying cat I drunk some beer and coffee and I wished for thermostat And I passed out without brushing my teeth

Calamine No pal of mine That stuff we ran through? Was poison Ivy!

Why do you like to use Fifteen sheets of Toilet Paper? Why do you like to use Fifteen sheets of Toilet Paper?

You complain In the Morning When it hurts so much But before You were singing And Dancing So retain Former Glory Though it hurts So much In the evening You'll be singing Once again